TED英语演讲稿：拥抱他人，拥抱自己
相拥别人，拥抱自己
embracing otherness. when i first heard this theme, i thought, well, embracing otherness is embracing myself. and the journey to that place of understanding and acceptance has been an interesting one for me, and it's given me an insight into the whole notion of self, which i think is worth sharing with you today.
相拥他类。在我第一次听说这一题材时，我想着，相拥他类不就是拥抱自己吗。我本人明白了解和接纳他类的历经很有趣，要我针对“自身”这个词也有新的了解，我觉得今日在这儿和大家共享下我的心得体会。
we each have a self, but i don't think that we're born with one. you know how newborn babies believe they're part of everything; they're not separate? well that fundamental sense of oneness is lost on us very quickly. it's like that initial stage is over -- oneness: infancy, unformed, primitive. it's no longer valid or real. what is real is separateness, and at some point in early babyhood, the idea of self starts to form. our little portion of oneness is given a name, is told all kinds of things about itself, and these details, opinions and ideas become facts, which go towards building ourselves, our identity. and that self becomes the vehicle for navigating our social world. but the self is a projection based on other people's projections. is it who we really are? or who we really want to be, or should be?
大家每个人都有个自身，但并非与生俱来就这般的。你了解再生的宝宝们感觉这些人是任何东西的一部分，而不是瓦解的个人。这类源头上的“天人合一”感在大家出生后很快就不见了，就好像大家人生道路的第一个章节--和谐统一：宝宝，未成形，初始--结束。他们似幻似影，而现实的世界是孤单彼此之间分离出来的。而在儿童期的某一段时间，我们开始产生自身这一见解。宇宙中的小小的个人拥有自己的名义，拥有自身的以往这些各种各样信息内容。这种关于自己的关键点，观点和见解渐渐地变为客观事实，变成大家真实身份的一部分。而那一个自身，也成为大家人生路上向前的导航。随后，这一说白了的自身，是别人自身的投射，或是大家真实的自己呢?大家到底想变成怎么样，应当变成什么样的呢?
so this whole interaction with self and identity was a very difficult one for me growing up. the self that i attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again. and my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from my self being rejected, created anxiety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time. but in retrospect, the destruction of my self was so repetitive that i started to see a pattern. the self changed, got affected, broken, destroyed, but another one would evolve -- sometimes stronger, sometimes hateful, sometimes not wanting to be there at all. the self was not constant. and how many times would my self have to die before i realized that it was never alive in the first place?
这一和自身相处，找寻真实身份的全过程在个人成长记忆里一点都不容易。我想成为的这些“自身”连续被否认再否定，可是我害怕自己没法融进周围的装饰，因被否认而造成的疑惑要我越来越更为焦虑，觉得羞耻感和遥遥无期，在很长一段时间便是我存在情况。但是回过头来再看，对自己的结构是那样经常，以致于我发现那样一种规律性。自身是变动的，受别人危害，瓦解或被击败，而另一个自身会造成，这一自身很有可能更顽强，很有可能更可恨，有时候你也不愿变为那般。所说自身并不是固定不动不会改变的。而我需要历经几回自身的粉碎再生才会搞清楚实际上自我从来没有存在过?
i grew up on the coast of england in the '70s. my dad is white from cornwall, and my mom is black from zimbabwe. even the idea of us as a family was challenging to most people. but nature had its wicked way, and brown babies were born. but from about the age of five, i was aware that i didn't fit. i was the black atheist kid in the all-white catholic school run by nuns. i was an anomaly, and my self was rooting around for definition and trying to plug in. because the self likes to fit, to see itself replicated, to belong. that confirms its existence and its importance. and it is important. it has an extremely important function. without it, we literally can't interface with others. we can't hatch plans and climb that stairway of popularity, of success. but my skin color wasn't right. my hair wasn't right. my history wasn't right. my self became defined by otherness, which meant that, in that social world, i didn't really exist. and i was "other" before being anything else -- even before being a girl. i was a noticeable nobody.
我还在70时代英国海滩成长，我的父亲是康沃尔的白种人，母亲是津巴布韦的黑种人。而想像我和父母是一家人针对别人而言一直不太当然。当然有它自身的魔术师，深棕色肌肤的小宝宝诞生了。但 从我五岁逐渐，我便有一种感觉我不是这一人群的。我是一个全白种人天主教会学校里面皮肤偏黑无神论者小孩子。我和他人是不一样的，而那一个热衷所属的自身却四处找寻方法找寻信任感。这类归属感让自我感受到优越感和必要性，因而十分关键。这一点是这么关键，假如没有自我，大家根本无法与别人沟通交流。并没有它，大家手足无措，无法获取取得成功或越来越受人欢迎。但我的皮肤颜色错误，我的头发错误，我的过去错误，我的一切都是极具特色界定的，在这个社会里，我实际上并不是真实存在。我最先是个半兽人，次之才是个女孩。我就是由此可见却毫无意义的人。
another world was opening up around this time: performance and dancing. that nagging dread of self-hood didn't exist when i was dancing. i'd literally lose myself. and i was a really good dancer. i would put all my emotional expression into my dancing. i could be in the movement in a way that i wasn't able to be in my real life, in myself.
此刻，另一个世界向我打开了大门口：舞蹈演出。那类有关自身的絮叨害怕在民族舞蹈时消失了，我放宽四肢，也成为了一位非常好的舞蹈家。我将所有的情绪都加入到舞蹈的动作中来，我能在舞蹈表演中与自身混溶，虽然在现实生活中却没法保证。
and at 16, i stumbled across another opportunity, and i earned my first acting role in a film. i can hardly find the words to describe the peace i felt when i was acting. my dysfunctional self could actually plug in to another self, not my own, and it felt so good. it was the first time that i existed inside a fully-functioning self -- one that i controlled, that i steered, that i gave life to. but the shooting day would end, and i'd return to my gnarly, awkward self.
16岁的情况下，我遇到了另一个机遇，第一部出演的影片。我没法用言语来表述在拍戏的那时候我感受遭受的平静，我无从下落的自身能够与那一个人物角色融为一体，而并不是自己。那感觉太棒了。这是第一次我感觉到我有着一个自身，我能掌控，令其颇具美名的自身。但是当拍照完毕，我又会返回自身不光滑未知，愚钝的自身。
by 19, i was a fully-fledged movie actor, but still searching for definition. i applied to read anthropology at university. dr. phyllis lee gave me my interview, and she asked me, "how would you define race?" well, i thought i had the answer to that one, and i said, "skin color." "so biology, genetics?" she said. "because, thandie, that's not accurate. because there's actually more genetic difference between a black kenyan and a black ugandan than there is between a black kenyan and, say, a white norwegian. because we all stem from africa. so in africa, there's been more time to create genetic diversity." in other words, race has no basis in biological or scientific fact. on the one hand, result. right? on the other hand, my definition of self just lost a huge chunk of its credibility. but what was credible, what is biological and scientific fact, is that we all stem from africa -- in fact, from a woman called mitochondrial eve who lived 160,000 years ago. and race is an illegitimate concept which our selves have created based on fear and ignorance.
19岁的情况下，我已经是富有经验的技术专业电影明星，可是我或是在真实自我的界定。我申请了高校的人类学专业。phyllis lee博士面试了我，她跟我说：“你如何界定人种?”我觉得我很了解这一话题讨论，我讲：“皮肤颜色。”“那样微生物上而言呢，比如基因遗传?”她讲，“thandie 皮肤颜色并不全面，实际上一个澳大利亚黑种人和乌干达黑人中间遗传基因差别比一个澳大利亚黑种人和丹麦白种人中间差别要大量。因为我们都是在非州来的，因此在非洲，基因突变演变的时间最长的。”也就是说，人种在分子生物学或一切科学合理上面并没有事实根据。另一方面，我针对自身的界定瞬间失去一大片基本。 但那便是分子生物学客观事实，我们是非州后代，一位在160 0XX年以前的杰出女性mitochondrial eve的后代。而人种这一失效的定义就是我们根据害怕和愚昧自身编造出去的。
strangely, these revelations didn't cure my low self-esteem, that feeling of otherness. my desire to disappear was still very powerful. i had a degree from cambridge; i had a thriving career, but my self was a car crash, and i wound up with bulimia and on a therapist's couch. and of course i did. i still believed my self was all i was. i still valued self-worth above all other worth, and what was there to suggest otherwise? we've created entire value systems and a physical reality to support the worth of self. look at the industry for self-image and the jobs it creates, the revenue it turns over. we'd be right in assuming that the self is an actual living thing. but it's not. it's a projection which our clever brains create in order to cheat ourselves from the reality of death.
令人费解的是，这一发觉并没治好我的不自信，那类被挤兑的觉得。我还是那样明显地要想离去消退。我在剑桥大学拿到了学士学位，我全给充斥着发展趋势的工作中，但是我的自身或是一团糟，我得了扣吐病必须接纳康复师的协助。我还是坚信自身是我的全部。我还是相信“自身”的使用价值甚过一切。并且大家置身的世界就是如此，我们的全部使用价值系统软件和实际自然环境全是在服务项目“自身”的使用价值。看一下不一样领域里边针对自身的营造，看一下他们开创的这些工作中，产出率的这些盈利。大家乃至务必坚信自身是真实存在的。但两者并不是，自身不过是大家明智的脑壳幻想出去欺骗自己没去思索身亡这一问题的伎俩。
but there is something that can give the self ultimate and infinite connection -- and that thing is oneness, our essence. the self's struggle for authenticity and definition will never end unless it's connected to its creator -- to you and to me. and that can happen with awareness -- awareness of the reality of oneness and the projection of self-hood. for a start, we can think about all the times when we do lose ourselves. it happens when i dance, when i'm acting. i'm earthed in my essence, and my self is suspended. in those moments, i'm connected to everything -- the ground, the air, the sounds, the energy from the audience. all my senses are alert and alive in much the same way as an infant might feel -- that feeling of oneness.
但其实我们的最终自身其实是我们的源头，合一。挣脱自身是不是真正，到底是什么始终并没有结束，除非是它和授予它实际意义的创始者合一，便是我与你。而这一点在我们意识到现实是我中有你，你中有我，和谐统一，而自身是种错觉时便会体会到了。我们可以想一想，何时我们都是心身统一的，比如说我舞蹈，演出的情况下，我和我的源头相互连接，可是我的自身被抛在一边。那时候，我与身旁的一切--气体，地面，响声，观众们的反应都相互连接在一起。我的直觉是灵敏和新鲜的，如同初生的宝宝那般，合一。
and when i'm acting a role, i inhabit another self, and i give it life for awhile, because when the self is suspended so is divisiveness and judgment. and i've played everything from a vengeful ghost in the time of slavery to secretary of state in . and no matter how other these selves might be, they're all related in me. and i honestly believe the key to my success as an actor and my progress as a person has been the very lack of self that used to make me feel so anxious and insecure. i always wondered why i could feel others' pain so deeply, why i could recognize the somebody in the nobody. it's because i didn't have a self to get in the way. i thought i lacked substance, and the fact that i could feel others' meant that i had nothing of myself to feel. the thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of enlightenment.
当我还在拍戏的情况下，我让另一个自身住在我身体内，我意味着它行为。在我的自身被撇开，紧跟的矛盾和客观分辨也消失了。曾经的我饰演过奴仆时代的报仇亡灵，也饰演过XX年的国务委员。无论她们这种自身是怎样的，她们都是在那时候和我相接。而我就相信作为艺人，我的成功，或者做为个人，个人成长全是来源于我欠缺“自身”，那类欠缺以前要我十分焦虑和躁动不安。我总是搞不懂为什么我会那样深地体会到他人的痛苦，为何我能从不知名的人身上看得出别人的划痕。是因为我没有所说的自身来上下我体会的信息内容吧。我以为我缺乏些什么，我以为我对其他人的了解是由于我欠缺自身。那一个曾经是我倍感羞耻感的物品其实是种启发。
and when i realized and really understood that my self is a projection and that it has a function, a funny thing happened. i stopped giving it so much authority. i give it its due. i take it to therapy. i've become very familiar with its dysfunctional behavior. but i'm not ashamed of my self. in fact, i respect my self and its function. and over time and with practice, i've tried to live more and more from my essence. and if you can do that, incredible things happen.
在我确实理解我的自身不过是种投射，是种专用工具，一件奇怪的事情发生了。我不再让它太多操纵我的人生。我课程管理它，像把它带去看医生一样，我很熟悉这些因自身而失衡的行为。我并不因自身而羞耻感，实际上，我很尊重我的自身和它的功能。而随着时间以往，我的技术性也更为娴熟，我能更多的是与我的源头并存。要是你愿意试着，不能思意的事儿也会产生在你身上。
i was in congo in february, dancing and celebrating with women who've survived the destruction of their selves in literally unthinkable ways -- destroyed because other brutalized, psychopathic selves all over that beautiful land are fueling our selves' addiction to ipods, pads, and bling, which further disconnect ourselves from ever feeling their pain, their suffering, their death. because, hey, if we're all living in ourselves and mistaking it for life, then we're devaluing and desensitizing life. and in that disconnected state, yeah, we can build factory farms with no windows, destroy marine life and use rape as a weapon of war. so here's a note to self: the cracks have started to show in our constructed world, and oceans will continue to surge through the cracks, and oil and blood, rivers of it.
2022年二月，我还在圭亚那和一群女士一起跳舞和庆贺，他们都是经历过各种各样无法想象事儿“自身”伤痕累累的大家，这些深受残害，心理扭曲的自身充溢在这里片漂亮的土地资源，而我们仍沉迷地追逐着ipod，pad等各种各样闪耀的物品，将大家与他们的痛楚，身亡隔得更长远。如果我们各自生活在自身中，并无以为生活就是这样，那样我们都是在抵毁和避开人生的意义。在这类脱轨的模式中，我们都是能够基本建设并没有窗子的加工厂，毁坏海洋生态，将做为战事的专用工具。为我们的自身做一个表述：这也是看起来健全的世界里的裂缝，深海，江河，原油和血水正不断从缝中冒出。
crucially, we haven't been figuring out how to live in oneness with the earth and every other living thing. we've just been insanely trying to figure out how to live with each other -- billions of each other. only we're not living with each other; our crazy selves are living with each other and perpetuating an epidemic of disconnection.
重要的是，大家都还没搞清楚怎样和自然及其别的所有生物和睦地相处。我们只是疯狂地想和别人沟通交流，几十亿别人。仅有在我们没有在和全球合一的情况下，大家疯狂的自身却相互之间爱怜，并始终再次这一场互相隔离的疫症。
let's live with each other and take it a breath at a time. if we can get under that heavy self, light a torch of awareness, and find our essence, our connection to the infinite and every other living thing. we knew it from the day we were born. let's not be freaked out by our bountiful nothingness. it's more a reality than the ones our selves have created. imagine what kind of existence we can have if we honor inevitable death of self, appreciate the privilege of life and marvel at what comes next. simple awareness is where it begins.
使我们相互依存共促，并不要太过激进派心急。尝试学会放下厚重的自身，照亮直觉的火堆，找寻我们的源头，大家与天地万物间的联络。大家新生时就明白这个道理的。不必被大家心里丰富多彩的空缺吓住，这比大家编造的自身要真正。想像如果你能接纳自身并不会有，你要想怎样生活，感谢生命的宝贵和未来的惊讶。简单的提升便是逐渐。
thank you for listening.
(applause) 感谢。
(欢呼)
